I Respect You, You Respect Me  

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It's the same round and round I've had with my family for years. My spirituality and what I believe seems to be 'nonsense' yet I am expected to partake in the traditions my family has on their holidays.

I have been Pagan for over 15 years now and openly practicing for about 10. My family knows I am Pagan, they know I was in a Coven. The only event any family member ever attended was Olivia's Wiccaning - only my mom came. Yet, every year when Ostara comes around or when Yule comes around, it's the same thing - those special days get overlooked by my family and by CJ's family. Okay, fine, they are not Pagan so why should I expect anything from them?

Maybe because I am expected to be at my mom's house on Holy Saturday (she's Catholic) to eat blessed food and I am expected to be at my dad's every Easter for ham. My kids gets tons of candy in their Easter baskets. What do they get on Ostara from family? Nothing. Why are they getting EASTER baskets anyway???!

Every Christmas Eve I run myself ragged to my dad's in the afternoon and then to my mom's in the evening. An overabundant amount of presents for the kids is an every year occurrence. What do they get for Yule from family? Nothing.

Even my mother in law - whom I adore, when she called to chat with me today, felt the need to say to me, "I know you don't celebrate it, but tell the kids I said Happy Easter." Why? You just admitted you know we don't celebrate it. I just don't get it?

Why do I still get looked at like I am speaking another language when I mention Ostara or Yule? Why am I 'expected' to continue their traditions but no one can see my side? Why, when I speak my mind, am I the asshole?

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 12, 2009 at Sunday, April 12, 2009 and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

4 comments

Chameleon  

Isn't it ridiculous? My dad was so upset that I chose not to have my children baptized in the Catholic church that my mother tried to talk me into doing it just to pacify him. When my middle son was in the ICU shortly after he was born, he handed my mother a little vial of holy water from the church and tried to talk her into baptizing him when I was out of the room "just in case". I respect and love my parents, and came to terms long ago with them believing that I'm just "going through a stage" in my pagan beliefs. Which maybe I am, if a stage lasts 30-some-odd years.

April 14, 2009 at 7:13 PM
witchymama  

Chameleon,
Isn't so interesting how it's all about 'them' ? I am more and more baffled by this every day. At what point do we get to actually be adults and make our own decisions?

If anyone tried to baptize any of my kids I would lose a grip! >:o

April 14, 2009 at 7:26 PM
Anilooma  

They are actually celebrating your holidays, albeit on slightly different dates. Christmas is just Yule with a creche tucked under; Easter is Oestara with a cross stuck in it. All the rest of it, the tree, the gifts, the colors, even the colored eggs and the Easter basket, all pagan.

When your MIL said Happy Easter! she was talking your language.

May 12, 2009 at 1:09 PM
Wikked Wit...  

Exactly. Ugh, I need to just grow a pair and not worry. My fella says, "F*** them, " referring to his own family. He doesnt care what they think. :) I guess I shouldnt either. Thanks for the link to this. ~Amanda

April 7, 2010 at 12:34 PM

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