I Was In a Coven  

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Yep, once upon a time I was in a Coven, 'The Circle of Enchantment' - and I loved it. In fact, here's a picture of me from the Coven's initiation/dedication ceremony.

In the beginning, the Coven consisted of several members, men and women, which eventually dwindled (lots of drama) down to the 5 of us. The 5 of us were very happy to be together - we were a tight knit group. These women were truly my 'sisters' and I always thought of them as family.

We got together every New Moon, every Full Moon and we celebrated every Sabbat. Sabbats always consisted of ritual and lots of food! We usually had open Sabbat celebrations and everyone's family and friends came.

Here we are one year on Beltane, gathered around the Maypole!

Here we all are during our initiation/dedication ritual:
Left to Right: Linda, Bernadette, Me, Christie, and Karol.


I'm not sure why I'm blogging about this because it was so long ago, about 6-7 years to be exact. I suppose I need to just get it off my chest.

The group dynamics got weird - and it seemed to happen suddenly. We were all going through our own personal turmoil, family life stuff, but it seemed like we grew apart instead growing together. Bernadette and Christie left the group, separately. I had a tiff with Karol, who wound up leaving then. It ended up being only Linda and I.

Linda and I remained tight for almost a year after the Coven's demise. She and I still got together twice a month and on Sabbats. She was there when Olivia was born. We did all sorts of things together and I thought everything was going well.

Then Jeff and I began going through bad times, talking about getting divorced (which we did eventually) and I know my head was clouded during that time. I felt as though I was completely surrounded with negative energy and I couldn't shake it. Around July/August of 2003, I think, I told Linda I needed a bit of time for myself. We agreed to take a break but that we would resume things together that year on Samhain.

Samhain was right around the corner and we had decided to get together at her place. The night of Samhain she called me and canceled. I can't remember her excuse but I do remember the next time I saw her, which was that November, she told me she was sorry she canceled on me and she told me the reason why. She and Karol went to an open Samhain gathering - they didn't invite me because she didn't think I'd be up to it.

Ummm, okay, so she and Karol had been chatting and I had no idea? Yep, and they saw Christie at this same gathering. How nice. The rest is really a blur because I honestly don't remember what happened - except that while Linda and I did not have any sort of falling out or 'fight' we never got together ever again after that. It was kind of like she just left me.

The following year, in October of 2004, Jeff and I separated and I moved in with Zyon. I called Linda and we chatted about things and I remember thinking it was really nice to talk with her again.
In July of 2005 my grandfather died. I contacted Linda via email and told her and she did respond and it was a nice response. However, that was that. I never heard from her again. I tried calling and emailing and never heard back.

Strangely enough, in May of 2006, my friend Cherie and I went to the Fairie Festival during Beltane and what do I see?

Karol, Linda and Christie.

Well, we chatted and it was awkward and weird. I never got an explanation, from any of them, about what the hell happened and why they were obviously together but no one called me. Guess that was a huge clue - I wasn't wanted - but I still to this day have no idea why.

I have had other run ins with Linda. In fact, just last month I saw her. I'll post about that sometime soon.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 4, 2008 at Saturday, October 04, 2008 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

4 comments

An all too familiar story I fear. It is hard to resolve the complex feelings in coven work/relationships. I still have left over emotions from leaving mine. Some friendships that pre-dated it and some that were made in it. Some have lasted and some have faded, at least I knew that I was leaving and they were going on without me though. Good luck on coming to a place of peace with it all. Everything ebbs and flows I think, especially covens.

October 4, 2008 at 12:10 PM

Yes, I agree about the ebbs and flows. I obviously has unresolved emotions I need to work out.
*sigh*

October 4, 2008 at 12:45 PM

You know, part of me has always wanted to be in a coven...and part of me knows that I probably never will be. Partially because I'm a big ol' honkin' control freak, lol!

It would be nice if, when things go wrong between people, they would be grown ups about it and just talk it out - even if it's just "hey, we really just feel like we don't "click" with you anymore - have a nice life". At least then people would know what's going on.

It must be frustrating and hurtful to see them all together and be excluded. Sorry that happened to you.

October 4, 2008 at 7:00 PM

Mrs. B,
I did absolutely love it - yanno, the Libra in me loves the social part of being in a Coven. I also loved the energy within the group, it made rituals so intense.

I never ever got any explanation. It was like they all met behind my back and just decided to exclude me purposefully, not because any of them just thought I had too much going on.

I really need to deal with this and move on =/

October 4, 2008 at 7:25 PM

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